Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters here in. They belong to BVTS and it's creators Joss and WB. Don't hurt me for barrowing them. They needed to come out and play....
(thoughts in Italics)

Pinevalley: Angel's:

Angel was lounging in a chair in his room. His shirt was off, thrown haphazardly on the foot of the bed. He was still wearing the black pants and boots that he had worn to the movies. Angel was trying to read a book that had been given to him by Katia several years ago. He had left it here unread the last time he had come. It was called "Bedlams Bard" by Mercedes Lackey, but when he had stared at the same page for 15 minutes he finally gave up. Tossing the book on the end table beside him, he rubbed his face restlessly and growled in aggravation.

He was nocturnal, he shouldn't be sleeping now.: he explained to himself. The only reason you're not sleeping right now is because she's not here in your arms. Angel groaned in frustration as he got up and walked over to his bed. Once she had recovered from the vision this afternoon, she had been delighted with his idea to go to the movies. Especially when she had heard that it was the movie "EVERAFTER". Apparently it was a movie that she had wanted to see very much, but Oz had never had the chance to take her. At the mention of her boyfriend's name Angel had stiffened almost imperceptibly, he had remembered then that Willow was off limits to him. She was human and already taken by the musician.

Willow, not realizing the conflict going on in Angels head, had gushed about everything. Her sparkle seemed to light everything she came near. Even Angel could not stay in his dark mood around her. As they stood in line at the ticket booth he laughed with her as she told him the story of Cassie starting a thunderstorm inside her house. As Willow stood off to the side looking at the posters for coming attractions, Angel went to the concession stand to get them both a soda and a huge box of popcorn. He was just paying for his purchases when he felt a cold hand caress his neck.

"Hello Angelus." purred a soft, sultry voice. The voice sent a chill down Angel's back and he looked down at the female vampire who stood beside him. She had short curly black hair and grey eyes. Her gaze on him was cold and calculating.

"Lydia." Angel responded in a cool voice as he dipped his head towards the vampire. "Long time no see." Lydia had been one of Angelus' lovers long ago. She obviously didn't know that he now had a soul. "I heard you had been hanging out at the hellmouth. It's good to see you back." she said, running her hand down his back in a suggestive manner she added, "Very good to see you back. Maybe you'd like to come over later for a bedtime snack?" The suggestion was obvious, Lydia's tastes never changed. She usually had one or two ''snacks' as she referred to humans before she pulled an all night sex session with whatever was available.

"How long have you been in town, Lydia?" Angel asked trying hard to tamp down on his anger at finding her here.

"Oh a few months." she said airily as she rubbed up against him suggestively. Allowing her black leather mini to ride up her legs. Even in her spike heels she only came up to Angels shoulder. The black leather bustier she wore showed that she was very well endowed for her size and the leather jacket she wore barely offered any protection.

"Then by this time someone should have informed you about the rules of this town?" It was a rhetorical question and Angel was barely controlling his temper. This was his town, his haven, why did the past have to keep coming back to haunt him. When all he wanted was to make a fresh start..with Willow. That thought shocked him so much he almost didn't hear the female vampires response.

"Oh yes, but you of all people know that rules were made to be broken Angelus." She said and finally put her body flush with his. This time rubbing her whole body against his suggestively she put both arms around his neck. "I can think of a few other things I'd like to break." Lydia said as she looked up at her former lover. Get away from me you slut. Angel thought as the woman continued, "But then you always did like it rough. Didn't you, lover?"

"Excuse me, Ms Slut. But would you mind taking your slimy tentacles off my date?" said a voice from behind the female vampire.

Angel raised his head and met the gaze of a very angry and possessive looking Willow. Her red hair loose around her shoulders and her green eyes flashing fire at the older woman. Willow cocked her head to the side and gave Lydia an evil smile.

Lydia looked at the young woman with amusement and said, "A playmate of yours Angelus, or a pet perhaps." The vampiress said glancing up at him as she turned to face the young redhead. "I'm afraid you just lost your date honey. You see Angelus and I are old friends, very good friends and we want to get reacquainted. So why don't you just run along home now, or better yet, come with us. Do you like to watch, honey. Maybe you'll learn something. Like what it takes to keep someone like Angelus satisfied."

"Like Angel said there are certain rules in this town, *honey*." Willow said with saccharine sweetness, "Like no anything unless someone invites you. I don't think he invited you and I know I didn't invite you." Willow continued in the same tone. Moving dangerously closer to Lydia as she tried to position herself between the female vampire and Angel. "Besides if you and *Angel* are so close then how come he's here with me, and not you. Maybe because he's not into vampire ho's from hell anymore, like maybe after 250 years he developed oh I don't know a little taste perhaps. Dah, you think?" Taunted the red head sarcastically.

Angel watched frozen in shock and admiration as Willow moved in a fighting stance around the other woman as she spoke to her. Her movements mimicking something the Slayer would have done. When Willow had told him that she and the others had taken over the Slayers duties while Buffy had been gone, he had found it difficult to imagine. Now he saw exactly what she had been talking about. *His* Willow was glorious!

"Why you little..." Lydia had begun as she morphed into game face and stepped towards Willow, the young hacker smiled and flipping her fisted hand over. She opened her hand, palm up and blew the white powder in her palm directly into the females face. She had positioned herself carefully, so that none of the powder would get on anyone else. Willow looked at the female vampire as she shrieked in agony, covering her face with her hands. "Another rule of this town. No fighting unless you're attacked first." The vampiress ran out of the theater to the sporadic applause of bystanders.

Willow turned around to face Angel. "An old girlfriend huh?" she asked the stunned vampire with an impish grin. Angel grunted in disgust and said, "Something like that."

As Willow turned to pick up their popcorn, she couldn't help but quip, "Sheesh, Xander was right. You did get major neck in your day." Ignoring the reference Angel asked curiously, "How did you...?" She laughed up at him and looped her arm through one of his as he picked up their drinks. "Garlic powder."

They had both laughed and walked into the theater proper and sat together. Willow had gushed over the romantic parts while he had pointed out historical inaccuracies. They had both laughed at the funny parts and when the ending had come he couldn't help but kiss Willow's tear tracked cheek. With affection. He warned himself. Sure you were. Came back the taunt.

Angel growled in frustration again, Think about something else. The heroine of the movie, yes, her name had been Danielle. She had been very strong-willed, high-spirited, and opinionated. Willing to dress as a noble woman to save another servant from being shipped to the Americas. She reminded him in many ways of Willow. Smart, so very smart, and intuitive, so full of life and energy. Like Willow she was true, honest, real, and intense; but also passionate, loving, good, and warm. Willow follows her heart and is always able to keep everyone around her in high spirits. Lord above, I'm gushing. Angel thought disgustedly.

The vampire then began to wonder what it would have been like to know a woman like that in his time. His betrothed Elizabeth, he thought with some disgust, had been nothing more than an empty-headed, spiritless weakling. Nothing like Willow. His father had arranged the marriage with a wealthy tradesman from London on one of his business trips. He had met her only once and had hated her on sight. Oh she was attractive enough, her light brown hair arranged in ringlets around her head, wearing a very expensive silk gown, that showed her figure. It was when she opened her mouth and showed just what an idiot she was that he had balked. Elizabeth had cowered in a corner of the house as he had argued long and loudly with both their fathers. Eventually storming out to go drinking and whoring with his friends. That was the night he had been changed.

If it had been Willow, he thought to himself, things would have probably been very different indeed. Oh, he had no doubts that she would have been shy, but with that spark and intelligence she had. He knew he wouldn't have objected to her as he had Elizabeth. As he was lost in his thoughts a sound came to him. A soft keening moan. At first he thought it was the wind. No this sound came from down the hall. Willow. With almost preter-natural speed Angel was out of the chair and down the hall at Willow's closed door. He was about to knock on the door when he heard the sound again. Not standing on decorum, he opened the door to the darkened room.

Willow looked on as Angel and Buffy danced in the middle of the Bronze. Although dancing wasn't exactly the word for it, they simply clung to each other and swayed.

Then Buffy began kissing and stroking Angel in a very possessive sort of way, then looking up she seemed to notice Willow and said seductively to Angel, "A playmate for us. Ooh does someone like to watch. It's okay Will's. I don't mind, I knew you liked to watch him and me. You were always so jealous. Come with us, maybe you'll learn something." Angel glanced over at Willow then lowered his head to nuzzle Buffy's shoulder as she continued, "Like what it takes to keep someone like Angel satisfied. I don't think you've got what it takes though." With that last statement Buffy morphed into a demon face and sank her fangs quickly into Angel's exposed neck. Just as quickly as the fear shot through her, the image changed.

She was standing out in the open, under the new of the moon, someone standing behind her was chanting. There opening in a stone wall in front of them was a portal and through that portal came a dark Sidhe. Tristan had told her enough about them that she recognized it for what it was. A creature of pure evil and malevolence, its hideous nature showing through in its equally hideous appearance. For some reason she felt no fear of the creature as it reached down to touch her. Then she heard the screams, familiar screams, her friends calling to her, begging her to come back. Then the cold, inky nothingness. Except she wasn't alone, she felt the cold touch of that creature, the dark Sidhe again and just as before, with the jolt of fear came a change of scene.

This time she opened her eyes to what appeared to be a cavern. Willow could not move or even speak. There in front of her was a robed man, stringy dark hair flowing past his shoulders and in his hand was an ornately carved dagger. He smiled at her coldly and this time when she felt the jolt of fear go through her the image didn't change. Willow wished it had, for when the man moved from in front of her she saw what he had been blocking.

Angel lying naked on a stone altar, chained to it. She tried to call out to him, to go to him, but she couldn't move, couldn't speak. She was frozen. Angel thrashed on the altar trying to escape, catching sight of her he called out, "Willow help me!" She struggled desperately against whatever force was holding her but could not escape. Looking into Angel's eyes she tried to speak to him through the link, but even that avenue of communication was darkened. "Willow?!"

The robed man didn't say a word only raised the dagger and plunged it into Angel's heart, then just as quickly removed it to cut across his throat, his wrists and the insides of his thighs. Willow didn't understand what the man was doing until she saw the large quantities of blood trickling down the special grooves in the altar. They ran into what looked like a trough at the end of the altar. Suddenly several vampires appeared at the end of the altar and looked up at the robed figure expectantly. "Drink...his blood will make us strong for what is to come. When the veil is removed, we will rule both worlds."

Like ravening animals most knelt by the trough and began to drink the blood. A few however, not satisfied with the blood there, went to the source. Falling upon Angel, feeding from the wounds that the robed man had created. One of them turned Angel's head for easier access, so that he was facing her again.

The robed man walked toward her, she ignored him to look at Angel. His eyes held such pain, she felt her own eyes tear, she tried again futilely to call out to him. As the robed figure took her arms, Angel called out to her "Willow!!" Then his eyes closed and he disintegrated into ash as the last of his blood was removed from his body. She tried to scream as the robed figure shook her vigorously. Then she found she could scream and she did. The shaking continued and a voice called to her again, "Willow wake up!!"

Willow's eyes snapped open, Angel's face hovered over hers in the gloom. Angel's not dead!!! The tears fell as her arms snaked around his neck and she clung to him sobbing.

"Its okay Willow...its okay...it was just a nightmare. It's okay." He shushed her and rocked her, speaking soothingly to her. "It's alright mo cridhe. It's all over now." he continued as her sobbing began to abate.

:I wish it was over. Willow thought, knowing the dreams would increase in intensity and frequency as the time of the Summoning grew closer. This is one dream that is not going to come true though. I won't let him down again. Willow thought as she took one last shuddering sob, her face buried in Angels neck.

Angel tried to reach for the lamp on the bedside table and found he couldn't manage it the way the two of them were situated. Quickly he pulled her onto his lap, while sliding himself further up towards the head of the bed. Angel then reached over and flipped on the lamp. He then held her to him for just a moment longer, savoring the feel of her in his arms again.

Pulling back slightly, Angel grasped Willow's chin in his right hand to pull her face up to gaze at his. While his left hand gently brushed her tangled red tresses away from her damp face, as Willow let her hands slide limply into her lap. Moist green eyes stared up at him from her tear stained face but it was the shadow of pain and fear that flitted across those green depths that caught his attention. "That must have been some nightmare." Angel said with a gentle smile. He began to wipe the dampness from her cheeks with a thumb.

Oh goddess, please don't let him ask... "Want to talk about it?" he continued, unaware of her thoughts. "Talk?" Willow asked giving him what she hoped was a blank look, as she stalled for time. Think girl, think.

"Yeah...about the nightmare." he reminded. At her continued vacant stare, Angel explained, "What was it about?"

"Oh that..." Willow said, adopting a look of concentration, You're the smart one, remember. Come on...aha. "Uh...I don't remember...it was just dark and scary." she finally said. Looking away from his all too seeing eyes, she mumbled, "Really scary."

Angel grasped her chin again and pulled her back to face him. Willow adopted a blank, vacuous smile she'd seen Cordelia use when flirting and said, "My hero. You woke me up just in time." She batted her eyelashes at him and received a perplexed look from Angel.

Willow realized that she had over played her part and heaved a sigh at the vampires puzzled gaze and said, "It's O.K. Angel. It was just a nightmare..." She continued not meeting his gaze but looking over his shoulder in memory. "I've always had really intense dreams. Vivid, you know, both good and bad." Willow looked down at her hands in her lap and finished, "Sometimes it's better not to remember them. I'm sorry I woke you up, maybe I should move to another room. You know, further down the..."

"No..." Angel interrupted, desperation tinging his voice. "This is your room, you sleep here. Besides," he added a little too quick and loud in his own ears, "I wasn't asleep, you didn't wake me." Willow looked up at him incredulously for a second and then over at the digital alarm clock on the bedside table. The red 3:14 A.M. glared back at her as she asked, "Why not?"

Angel gave her an amused smirk and responded, "Willow...I'm nocturnal...remember?"

he barely contained his mirth, as she looked shocked for a moment. Then a grin slid across her face as she said, "Oh yeah," then smacking her forehead with her open palm she continued with tongue in cheek humor, "What *was* I thinking?"

He did chuckle then and said, "Maybe you should try and get some sleep?" Angel felt the involuntary shudder that ran through Willow and quickly continued barely missing a beat, "Or not."

The pretty redhead flashed him a weak smile and said, "I think I'm not ready to go back to sleep yet. How about we talk for a while?" Then in a gently mocking tone, "If you can get over being Cryptic Guy for a while that is?"

He sketched a bow, or as well as he could from a seated position with Willow sitting on his lap and said, "Your wish is my command, milady." With that he stood lifting Willow high in his arms and walked back to his room.

My wish huh, ooh Bad Willow, very bad. Thought the hacker as a very vivid image flashed in her mind.

Angel was pleased to notice that she was wearing the gown he'd given her, but he also noticed her shiver as they walked down the hall. As soon as they entered his room he placed her in the chair that he had recently vacated. He then dragged a down filled throw off the foot of the bed and covered her with it. Angel then moved to the fireplace in his room, stoking the forgotten embers there.

Willow giggled slightly upon catching sight of Angel's dark blue shirt on the foot of the bed, inspired she shoved the throw aside. Hopping out of the chair she tiptoed over to the bed quickly and picked up the shirt.

Willow turned around to face Angel's back as she pulled on the shirt. She admired his shoulders as she pulled the shirt over her own. The tattoo on his shoulder appeared to glow in the growing firelight. Willow almost giggled again as she noticed that the sleeves hung past her fingertips. As she rolled them up to just above her wrists, her eyes fell on a chess set sitting on a table by the fireplace, and once again inspiration struck as to how she could stay awake.

As she finished buttoning the shirt she asked, "Angel, would you like to play chess?"

Angel had been distracted in his own thoughts. When he heard her voice he turned to the chair to ask her to repeat the query, only to find Willow wasn't where he'd left her. "Hey...what...?" Turning to scan the room he caught sight of her at the foot of his bed, wearing his shirt, her hair in disarray, her cheeks still flushed with sleep. Willow looked as though she had been recently and thoroughly ravished and he felt desire flare into being, quickly doused by his own self doubts, but not before one thought escaped. Ionmhuin. Angel thought as he stared at her intensely. Beloved.

Misunderstanding his gaze, Willow explained, "My arms were cold." Indicating the shirt she then added, "Do you mind?"

"What...oh no...you can have anything you want in my house." Angel recovered quickly and his inner voice added, Including me. before he could stop.

Willow moved back towards the chair and then reminded him. "Angel...chess?"

She sat in the chair, curled her feet up under her and pulled the throw back over her lap and seeing his continued blank look she said, "Do-you-want-to-play-chess-with-me?" Enunciating each word with care and precision.

Angel gave her a wan smile then rising from in front of the fireplace, he walked to the table. Picking up the heavy table and chess set as though they weighed nothing he set the table down in front of her chair. Angel then pulled the companion chair around to sit in front of her. He looked over at her and said as he turned the chessboard appropriately, "Ladies first." She gave him an innocent smile and they began.

After a few moments Angel realized he was facing a truly challenging opponent. Hoping to distract her he asked, "Who taught you how to play chess, mo cridhe?"

"I taught myself." Willow said moving her rook before looking up at him. "My parents were away most of the time. When they were home they were sort of wrapped up in each other." she shrugged and continued, "Chess was my father's favorite game, but he wouldn't teach me because I was only five." Willow gave Angel a wry, sad smile and continued, "The next time my father came home I challenged him to a game of chess. Short version, I won and my father was amazed and proud and still left again the next day for a business trip. Your move." she concluded. Angel gazed at her for a moment longer and then looked down at the chess board. His thoughts in turmoil. Angel had always thought that Willow must have the perfect life. She was smart, had friends, a family, an actual life. The life of a living breathing person. The fact that she might feel or actually be neglected had never occurred to him. It should have though. He castigated himself.

Willow's incredible intelligence would have isolated her from most people her own age. Her shy nature would have cut her off from making new friends as well. Her best friend Xander had broken her heart, albeit unknowingly, by not reciprocating her feelings of love. Her friendship with Buffy and knowledge of the Watcher and Slayer activities had made her more secretive, thus isolating her even more. Oz being the exception to the rule, but from what he had gleaned, still a somewhat unsatisfying relationship for someone as starved for love as Willow seemed to have been. Then Angel's friendship with Willow had put her in mortal danger on more than one occasion. He had thought she would have at least have had a satisfying home life, but even that hadn't been the case. You should have known, you should have protected her from this, you should have been there for her.

Willow's voice aroused him from his thoughts, "Who taught you how to play Angel?"

Angel gave his own wry smile and responded, "My older brother Liam. He was the smart one of us, but he was never very patient." He chuckled at the memory, as he moved his knight to counter a move of Willow's. Willow looked at his lowered head and her lips quirked. Aha, Angel's family, more."Did he look like you?" Willow said as she moved a piece without even looking at the board.

Angel looked up at her and said, "No, actually he'd probably look more like your brother than mine. He had reddish brown hair and green eyes. He was the oldest and always the responsible one. I guess he looked a lot like my ma. He was always trying to take care of me, even when I didn't want him to." He said as he examined the chess board with renewed interest.

"Why wouldn't you want him to take care of you?" asked Willow. Completely forgetting the game as she listened in fascination to Angel talking about his family.

"Oh he was always warning me about....um...never mind." Angel said and Willow swore he would have blushed if he were able. "Oh no you don't." she said threateningly as she sat up straighter in the chair. "You started this...you can't stop now. What did he always warn you about?"

Angel looked disconcerted as he told her, "I was..sort of...a rebellious young man, back then. I ran with a bad crowd of lads, and we were a rowdy bunch. Drinking, dallying with the ladies," as he spoke Angel's brogue became more pronounced and Willow stared mesmerized as he continued. "...just getting in trouble. Anyway Liam warned me that I shouldn't be hanging around with them and doing all we were doing. That I'd live to regret it but I ignored him and..." indicating himself "this is what happened. Although technically speaking," he continued with pain and self loathing obvious in his voice, "I think the accurate way of putting it would be that I died to regret it."

Now completely ignoring the chess board Willow stood and dragging the throw with her, climbed into Angel's lap. Wrapping the throw around both of them and snuggling her head under his chin, she said quickly before he could sink back into silence., "Was Liam your only brother?"

Angel realized what she was doing then and smiled into her hair. She deserved this he now knew more about her than probably even Harris knew, she deserved this. He wasn't going to make it too easy for her though, "So does this mean that I win the game by forfeit?" he asked the top of her head softly.

"Umhmm, you win, now talk." she demanded in her best interrogator's voice. Although it did come out rather muffled from the throw and her heads position on his chest.

He chuckled and said, "I also had a younger brother named Eion, and two younger sisters Breanna and Aislinn." Angel couldn't help the catch in his voice at the last name. Willow heard it but didn't say anything, not yet. "Tell me about your parents first." Willow said drowsily. "Bossy little thing, aren't you?" he said into her hair. Willow didn't answer, she only snuggled closer. "Alright then." Angel said quietly. "My father was a tradesman, a merchant, like his father before him, his name was Patrick Boyle." as he continued Angel felt the gentle questing touch of Willows mind.

Don't just tell me, show me. came Willows soft request in his mind. As he concentrated on the memory of his family to send her the mental images she wished, he wondered if she knew how difficult this was going to be for him. When he showed her the image of his brother Liam there was a gentle touch again to his mind, like a balm applied to still opened wounds. Yes she knows, she's trying to heal me.

He was afraid there were too many wounds for her to heal them all though. "Where was I?" he said thoughtfully, "Oh yes, my father. He was already quite wealthy, when he decided to go into shipping. He moved to the Isle of Man because of the docks there, its where he met my mother. He was about 14 or 15 years her senior if I remember." he said. Showing her mental images of his father progressing from Angel's first memory to an image of the older man arguing with Angel. The man had, had black hair like Angel and the same dark fathomless eyes and though tall, seemed to be shorter than his son. Although it was hard to judge when viewing the scene through what would have been Angel's perspective. Then there were more images of tall ships and a rough but beautiful sea coast. "I remember when I was about 8 years old being summoned to London. The whole family I mean. There had been a war, my father had loaned ships to the king, he was knighted and given lands, on the Isle of Man and in Ireland itself."

Angel paused for a moment to collect his thoughts and Willow saw the images shift to frequent arguments between Angel and his father. Then an image came of a horrible fight between Angel, his father, and another elderly man. It was like watching a movie on mute, Willow knew Angel had done that deliberately, and she respected his privacy. Although she did wonder about the honey blond in the corner with the very rich looking dress on.

Are you sure you want to know all of this? Angel asked through the link. Knowing a golden opportunity when she saw it, Willow responded, Yes, everything, including who the blond in the corner is?

Angel shuddered slightly under her, as though his body were trying to remember how to sigh. "My father...no matter how much wealth he had...he always wanted more." His face was set and his gaze distant as he continued, "I think the only thing he didn't do for money was marry my mother." Angel shook his head slightly to clear the cobwebs and said, "Because of the business my father was away quite frequently...

Pine Valley: Angel's

Like mine. Willow interrupted again. Yes mo cridhe, like yours. he agreed and felt another soothing mental touch. "One day he returned home from one of those trips, to inform both my sister Breanna and myself that he had found us suitable mates. That's the word he used, mates." Angel said with some disgust, "As though we were cattle to be bred!" Again a soft mental touch and a gentle squeezing hug from the young woman in his lap. "The *man* he had chosen for Breanna, you could blow over if you breathed on him." That mental image appeared in her mind. The man was an inch or two taller than Willow had sandy blond hair and pale blue eyes, his skin was also very pale. Giving the overall impression of a washed out painting. Oh true his clothes were very fine, and his manner from the images, very elegant. Too elegant, to the point of foppishness.

Then the image changed to show a woman standing beside the man and a growing sense of horror ran through Willow. The man was 3-4 inches shorter than the young woman who was obviously Angel's sister. Where the fop was pale, Breanna was vibrant, with dark hair and flashing dark eyes and tanned skin with rosy cheeks. Her face was heart-shaped different from Angel's, but it only made her more lovely. She was beautiful. So that's her...fiancéé? Yuck. Then she made the connection. That other woman, the one in the corner before, she was..

"My betrothed...Elizabeth." Angel responded quietly. Willow slammed the link shut for a moment, as she tried to collect her scattered thoughts. Angel was engaged. That was to be expected, at his age in that time, most men would have been married and have a few children as well. said the more rational side of her brain. The side she was beginning to hate. Oh Goddess, what if he was married and had children, and...Don't be stupid, just ask him.

Angel had stopped talking the moment she had closed off the link. He could sense her discomfiture with the subject of Elizabeth. She probably thinks it's being disloyal to Buffy. he thought and realized with shock that he hadn't even thought of the Slayer all day.

"Are you...were you...did you marry her?" Willow finally managed to squeak out.

"No, mo cridhe." he said in a slow, gentle voice, " I didn't marry her." "Why...why didn't you marry her?" Willow asked perversely in a confused voice, as a sense of relief washed through her. "She was beautiful, from what I saw."

"Besides the fact that I didn't love her, you mean." Angel reminded her, "She was dumb as dirt, Willow. Even dumber than the gypsy girl I told Buffy about. My father, her father and I argued. I lost my temper and left. I went out and got drunk and...Willow?" at the tone in his voice, she immediately braced herself for what was about to come. "That was the night that Darla found me and embraced me." Willow felt the tears prick her eyes as she closed them. Her soothing mental touch flowed into his mind as she thought, Oh, please mother, I have to change the subject. "What about your mother?" she said grasping at straws. "Couldn't she have talked to your father? Maybe made him see reason, I mean if you didn't want to get married..."

"I wanted to get married to someone of my own choosing. My mother knew this, she understood it and she did talk to my father about it. She wasn't happy about it either. As I recall, just before I left, she threw a cast iron frying pan at him, with the food still in it." he chuckled at the memory.

Willow giggled at the mental image, while heaving an inner sigh of relief. "Your mother sounds cool, I think I would have liked to meet her." she then untucked herself from him slightly to look into his eyes. Seriously she brushed a lock of his dark hair off of his forehead, "I would have told her what a great son she made." she said honestly, daring him with her eyes to deny the statement. Angel was beginning to recognize her certain looks though and knew better, he only snorted with derision and said nothing. Nodding her approval, Willow said, "Tell me what she was like, your mother." Gently with his hand he brought her head to rest on his shoulder, kissing her forehead, he said mischievously. "You mean besides being a spitfire like you?"

Willow instead of answering directly jabbed him in the chest with her finger. He let out a playful yelp and rubbed the spot while saying, "Lucky for me you're not actually a willow or I'd be dust by now." At a threatening move from Willow, he quickly raised his hand in surrender and said, "Okay, okay, Let's see my mother." He said, sinking back into the monotone designed to put Willow back to sleep. "Her name was Maire, she was beautiful, and a spitfire as I said. But always very warm and loving, father was away so much she practically raised us herself. My mother really did look like you, a little taller, her hair was lighter than yours. What do they call it?" he said perplexed for a moment.

Strawberry blond. Willow provided beginning to get drowsy again. "Yes that's it. Thank you, little one." Angel said gratefully as he kissed her forehead again. "Her hair was strawberry blond and curly, not straight like yours. She had pale green eyes and she was always smiling. Like you. She also practiced the druid arts." That statement got Willow's attention. She sat up again and looked Angel in the eye and asked. "Your mother...did magic...like me?" she asked incredulously.

He looked at her and said quietly, soothingly trying to get the hacker to relax enough again to go back to sleep. "No Willow, not like you. She wasn't that powerful, but yes she did practice magic and do healing. I thought she was quite impressive at it too." he said aloud while thinking to himself, Until I met you.

"Well all boys think that their Mom's are great. But she really was very brave to do that. I mean they were burning witches back then." she said. He marveled at her concern for the well being of someone she had never met and would never know. That's Willow though. "I don't think she thought of the danger she might be putting herself in, she just thought of it as helping her friends and neighbors. No one ever accused her of being a witch and I think that's why, because she only ever used the power to help people." He pulled her head back down and added "As I said she really was a lot like you, mo cridhe. I know she would have liked you."

Willow snuggled closer to his neck, eyes closed, and smiled. "My brother Liam, I told you about him. He would have inherited it all one day, and I don't think I envied him one little bit. I wanted to be free. I was a ruffian, the kind your mother has probably warned you about." Angel said and Willow listened to his mind and his heart while listening to his words. She knew something bad was coming and she eased into his mind in full force, ready for whatever it was. "I told you a little about Breanna. What I didn't tell you and what no one else knows is that Breanna was the Slayer back then. She had only told ma and me. No one else alive knew except her Watcher, his name was William.

My father thought he was some bland fellow, from a nothing family who was trying to court her. I think that was part of the reason he went off and got her a suitor. There were others who knew she was a Slayer though, the ones she fought and their leader." Once more she tried to soothe his mind, but he boxed himself, not letting her in, protecting them both. He pulled her closer and held her head down on his shoulder. He didn't want to look into her eyes when he told her the rest. "Their leader was the Master, Willow. The one we fought and helped Buffy destroy in Sunnydale. Apparently my little sister, Breanna made him nervous, very nervous.

He sent Darla to spy on my family, she saw me and came up with the perfect plan. I was such a lecher, and a hard drinker. I was the perfect target, she told me after I was with her for a while that the fact that I was a good looking fellow was an added incentive. She embraced me Willow, to get to my sister. To get rid of the Slayer, she destroyed me, my family, my entire life." Willow tried to sit up to console Angel but he wouldn't let her and so she didn't see the blood tears fall from his eyes. He held her down and distracted her by saying, "I haven't told you about my sister Aislinn, though have I. My little pixie. She was three and a half years old. A little tiny creature she was and she did look like an elf of some sort."

As Angel remembered his sister, he remembered a particular scene of his mother singing a lullaby to her and concentrated on that image sending it to Willow. If it worked on my little sister maybe it will work on *my* Willow. "She had the same strawberry hair as my mother, all curly and always in ringlets around her face. She had deep, dark blue eyes. Always brilliant and bright like the ocean on a sunny day. You could look into her eyes and see the brilliance of her intelligence. This child would be a genius some day. I just knew it, of course as her older brother I was a bit prejudiced I suppose." Angel felt Willow sigh and smile into his neck and he shuddered slightly before he continued. "She was always so smart and bright like a star. She had a bubbly personality, effervescent, like champagne."As he continued to play the image in their minds he continued on in the same monotone. "Lets see, my brother Eion, he was 11. He had brown hair and green eyes and loved riding and horses. He could make a horse do just about anything he wanted it to. My mother was always screaming at him about tracking the muck from the stables into the house." He smirked at the memory of a face streaked with dirt, riding the wind on a horse. The vampire then heard a light snore just under his ear.

Amazing, it worked. Thank heaven, I don't think I could stand it if she saw the rest. Standing up with Willow still in his arms, Angel avoided the temptation of his own bed entirely and walked down the hall to her room. The lamp was still on and the bed was still turned down. Angel slid her into the bed and pulled the comforter over her and up to her chin.

Angel stared down at the redhead for a moment, Turn off the light and get out of the room, vampire. said the rational side of his mind. He looked at her for a moment and then around at the room. He had, to admit now that he looked at it that it had belonged to her just as he had, long before any of this had begun. She had always pulled at something with in him, some unknown depths of his soul, his demon as well.

In some wild flight of fancy he had been imagining her here with him. That was before the Slayer had come when he had still been just a silent sentinel for the young hacker. Before the night of the Masque, when he had gotten too close to the fire that was Willow, and had nearly combusted. Turning off the light on the bedside table he walked toward the hall. Angel stopped in the doorway and closed his eyes.

"You are such a fool," he whispered to himself, "You're a blind, misguided fool! Don't you ever listen to your instincts? You should have left her alone in the first place. You should have never gotten close enough to be singed by her fire. You should have just saved her at that carnival when she was so young and let that be the end of it, but no, you just couldn't stay away from her." Without looking back at the bed or opening his eyes, Angel could see Willow asleep in the bed, her face imprinted on his memory.

He turned back to face the bed and continued berating himself. "And now she's someone that's burrowed themselves into your sorry soul. She's taken up residence in your heart, and all with little quiet words of understanding and welcome. And now she is someone whose very presence could set your pulses racing, if you had a pulse." he snorted in derision, "Someone who could make every part of you, your body, heart, mind, and soul come alive, if you were alive." He growled low in his throat continuing the self torture mercilessly, "Someone who makes the smallest gesture become so dear and yet so erotic to you that you could almost groan aloud in the need to satisfy the ache it creates, the ache to hold, to possess." He continued to taunt himself savagely, "You cretin, you think she wants you, you've been dead for 250 years, you were a murderous psychopathic demon for most of them. She is a stunning, gentle innocent and she doesn't love you."

Viciously satisfied, he was about to turn to leave the room again when the so-called rational part of his brain whispered insistently, So why do you feel as though every fibre of your being fits with hers? Why do you feel as though you're two halves of the same soul and if you don't become one...if you're not close to her you'll be miserable and incomplete? Heaving a breathless sigh Angel said, "Damn." softly and turned to the window to pull the heavy blinds, before kicking off his boots and climbing into bed with Willow.

He pulled her back against his chest, her head resting on one of his arms while the other wrapped around her waist and then lifting one of her hands he meshed their fingers. Looking down at their meshed fingers, his eyes trailed up to hair the color of cognac, and a pearl like complexion, delicate eyebrows arched above her closed eyes. He knew that this wasn't a good idea, he knew he shouldn't be here, he knew that it would never work, but Angel also knew that what he knew and what he should have done no longer mattered. He no longer had a choice in the matter. He recognized the familiar feeling that rushed through him, and in a final attempt at escape he prayed.

"God in heaven, don't do this to me again. Don't let me fall in love with one of them again. Especially not this one, she doesn't deserve that kind of grief. Don't you remember who I am, God? What I am? I'm Angelus, the demon, the vampire who killed everything he ever loved. The one who isn't worthy of being loved or respected, the one who doesn't deserve to be happy." Even as he prayed Angel knew it was too late, but he still couldn't bring himself to say the words aloud. Instead he finally confessed to the woman in his arms, "I won't let anyone hurt you, including me and what I was. Not if I can do anything to prevent it." he finished whispering into her silken hair. Finally letting the images he'd kept from her come forth.

The final night, Darla embracing him, his death was a non-memory filled with darkness, then awakening to feel the demon fighting with his soul. Despite what he had told Buffy, the demon had kept his soul, the good part had been imprisoned, where it could watch what happened but could do nothing about it. While the dark part of his soul, that part that had sent him to the tavern to get drunk, and dally with the lasses, the part that went to Darla in the first place, the demon subverted and used. Then the demon Angelus was reborn and its first act had been to have sex with Darla. Then he had gone back to his home. He had knocked on the door and his pixie had been his first victim.

Aislinn had been so happy to see her brother, she had swung open the door and had jumped into his arms. Calling his name in that lisping voice of hers, "Angewus, Angewus, where were you? Your dinners cold and your betrothed has been waiting for you." she informed him in her best stern voice.

Swinging her around once, he caused her to shriek with laughter before he drew her close to his body. "So invite me in Pixie." Angelus said enjoying the screams of the soul trapped within him.

"Come in Angewus." came the giggling response.

He walked through the doorway of the families large house to the living area. His father, Elizabeth's father, and Liam were discussing business. His mother and sister sat on a bench talking to Elizabeth, who was standing gazing into the fire, with her back to him. Eion was in the stable of course. Angelus slid into game face, Easy pickings. The soul screamed again, in futile agony. Then Elizabeth turned from the fire to laugh at something Breanna said. Red hair, piled on top of the head, highlighted by the fire. Green eyes warm with laughter.

"Down Angewus." came the lisping demand as Aislinn slid down his leg to the floor and ran to the redhead. Laughing the young woman picked up the little girl, kissed her on the cheek and threw her into the air a short distance. Eliciting a shriek and hysterical giggles from the little one, before pulling her close for a hug. Willow then turned to face the door catching sight for the first time of a fully vamped Angelus.

Angel jerked awake. God, don't let her remember me being there. Quickly unwrapping himself from around Willow he lurched out of the bed, slipped his boots back on and almost ran from the room. Closing the door softly behind him.

Poor Angel.

Angel stalked into his own room and threw himself into the chair. The fire had died down again. The sun would be coming up soon. Time for all good little vampires to be in bed. Sure like that's going to happen anytime soon.

The image came again. Willow holding Aislinn close as they both turned to gaze at him. Then the more grisly memories of what he had done to his family. His parents, his brothers and sisters, his betrothed and her father, and even that fop who his father had betrothed Breanna to. He had hunted him down and snapped his neck like a twig. He cursed himself in Gaelic. The image of Aislinn and Willow flashed in his mind again.

Willow would make a beautiful mother. Angel tortured himself with the image of Willow pregnant, then what the children would look like, recognizing the fantasy for what it was. Willow would never want him, even if she did, and that was a big if, he could never give her children. What he had told Buffy was true, barring a minor miracle, he could not make a child. Willow would want children he was sure.

Then his brooding mind returned to Aislinn, she had been his favorite and because of him she would never grow up, never fall in love, and never have children of her own and watch them grow. He sighed heavily and thought to himself, The only good thing about this is she'll never be betrothed to someone she can't abide, by our father. She'll never grow up in a gilded cage like he tried to put Breanna in. Please, God, don't let Willow remember this.

"Why not?" came a soft yet dreaded voice from the doorway. In a panic Angel's mind misfired, Don't look. She won't be there if you don't look. She won't remember if you don't look. he thought irrationally.

"Yes I will." came the determined reply as Willow walked towards him. Angel did look up at her then. She still wore his dark blue shirt over the nightgown he had purchased for her. Hair the color of bright copper draped gracefully around her shoulders. Willow's face was scrubbed, a little pale, and set. She was beautiful.

The young hacker looked into the dark, haunted eyes of the vampire for a moment before he looked away. Shoving her legs between his knees, Willow reached out and grabbed Angel's chin, drawing him back around to face her. "No more running from this Angel. You have to face it, and I'm going to help you." She gentled the grip on his chin and reached up to sift her fingers through his tousled hair.

"I know what happened that night, Angel. I guess you pulled me into your dream this time. You stopped when you saw me, but in the instant you saw me I saw what really happened." Willow said keeping her tone even. Angel jerked his head to the side, dragging his head from her grasp. "You shouldn't have seen that Willow. No one should ever look into my mind. Especially not to see that. It's one of the darkest moments of my life. The worst part was that I couldn't stop it."

"Then why, after all this time, are you still torturing yourself?" Willow asked simply.

Angel looked back up at the redhead incredulously, "Willow, I killed my family. I murdered them!!"

"Yes and you also said, ''you couldn't stop it.' It was Angelus, not you it was a horrible thing but it wasn't your fault." Willow said understandingly.

Angel turned to face her and vamped out. "Are you so sure Willow?" Grabbing her arms in a firm grip he pulled her down so that their faces were just inches apart. "Are you certain it was just the demon? I'm going to tell you something, something I haven't told anyone else. I was there, my soul was there in my body. Oh the good part, the part who was a dutiful son to my mother and loved and protected his family, he was locked away and couldn't get out. The dark part of my soul though, the part that hated my father that night, the part that enjoyed fighting and hurting people, the part that was a ruffian and a bully, the part that was a clever planner and strategist, that part of me, the demon used. It took it and made it stronger and more powerful and used it. So you see it was me Willow, just not the good me." With that he let go of her arms and pushed her away slightly and said quietly with his game face still on. "Run away now, Willow." Then he looked away from her again.

Willow looked at him for a minute. Then she moved back toward him and grasping his face in both hands she turned him to face her again. Angel was still in game face, when he glanced up at her though, she saw pain and something else in his yellow eyes...fear, before he looked away again.

"You're the one running away Angel, when you're not running away, you push away. Why didn't you just tell me this before?" she said trying to understand, "Did you think I would be afraid of you? Did you think I would hide from you? Did you think I would hate you?" His stunned and pain filled eyes met hers in sudden obvious fear. "Goddess, that's it. You think I hate you?!" Willow said incredulously.

Angel looked ready to bolt and the hacker took swift, decisive, if precarious action. "No more running, remember." Willow said as she knelt between his knees on the edge of the large chair. She then sank her fingers into Angel's dark locks and held on tight. "You try to run now and you'll probably hurt us both. Now are you going to listen?"

When Angel didn't answer Willow continued. "I don't hate you Angel. I could never hate you." As she spoke Willow eased into his mind soothing, healing, loving his wounds closed. "I felt your sorrow and pain, do you think that Angelus would have felt that? Did you think I could hate you for that?" Willow shook her head sadly and looked into his eyes, "Don't you get it yet? You can't scare me away or send me away. You're stuck with me, for the long haul. Whatever that means. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Nothing of you could ever disgust me Angelus." Leaning forward Willow wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm not going anywhere Angel."

The game faced vampire pulled her sharply into his arms, he buried his face in her neck, and cried. He cried for his victims, his family, his friends, and all the nameless others, his eyes bled his sorrow onto the dark blue shirt she wore. The vampire cried until no more tears would come. Letting go at least in some small part of the pain and guilt of all he had done. To free himself of all of the ''emotional baggage' would take more than one good cry, but, as he looked back up into Willow's tender gaze, he did feel that his soul was indescribably lighter.

Willow smiled reassuringly at him and then closing her eyes in concentration she put herself in his mind. A mental image appeared in Angel's mind, a woman with red hair and green eyes was dancing through his mind, lighting candles, singing and whispering soothingly.

Willow wobbled slightly in Angel's lap and with gentle care he looped one hand around her waist, the other around the back of her neck. The redhead opened her eyes and smiled at seeing Angel's human face so close to her own. Willow finally let go of his hair, and lowered her palms to stroke the remainder of the blood tears from his face. Quietly, standing she drew the vampire out of the chair and walked towards his bed. Flipping the covers back efficiently with her free hand, she turned back to face the vampire. Without really thinking about what she was doing Willow unbuckled his belt and slid it out of the loops, she considered slipping off his slacks but decided that would be a little too much. Pushing Angel into a sitting position on the side of the bed, she quickly untied and removed his boots followed by his socks. Then clasping his ankles in both of her hands she lifted his feet onto the bed and he laid down for her quietly, as she pulled the covers over him. "Now get some sleep," she said soothingly as she stroked his hair, "who ever heard of an insomniac vampire?"

"Thank you." Angel said and drew her head down. Touching her lips with his own in what was supposed to be a chaste kiss, but Willow melted into his embrace and Angel deepened the kiss. His fingers tangled in Willow's silky locks, his tongue stroked her mouth for entrance. She gasped at the tingling that coursed through her and Angel's tongue invaded her mouth stroking along her teeth, then as they parted, stroking along her tongue, coaxing it to join his in a duel. One of his hands slid out of her hair and down her arm, the thumb grazing the outer swell of her breast tantalizingly. Then both hands came to the front of the shirt and he began to unbutton it slowly as their mouths continued to explore each other. Shirt unbuttoned, Angel tried to push it down over her shoulders, but Willow's arms were trapped between them. When she felt Angel struggling with the shirt, Willow realized what was happening and gasping, pulled back swiftly, Angel stopped her at arms length.

Looking at her with a quiet intensity that would have frightened her if it were anyone else, , "I'm sorry, Willow.." he apologized sincerely "The only thing I can say is that...is that...I'm feeling..." he stuttered embarrassed.

"A little fragile...maybe." Willow provided softly, to which the vampire nodded gratefully.

"I think...I'm afraid . . . after what you've seen...that if I let you go...you won't come back." he finally said honestly. "Angel!" Willow said in an exasperated tone, to which he cringed, as she added more moderately, "I just told you I'm not going anywhere . . . you're stuck with me."

"Then could you stay here with me," seeing her eyes widen slightly he added, "I just...need to hold you for a while."

At this the young woman cocked her head at the vampire in the bed. Then letting the shirt slide off of her shoulders, she pulled the covers back and slid into the bed beside him. When he didn't move she realized he was letting her set the pace probably afraid that he might frighten her away. Quietly holding out her arms to him she said, "Come here."

Sliding into her arms he buried his head in the lavender scented tresses at her neck. While she stroked her fingers through his rumpled hair and whispered soothingly to him. Angel lifted his head to look at her slightly and she said with a weak and somewhat quirky smile, "You get some sleep, mister," Then shaking her finger at him she added, "and no bad dreams allowed." Willow then pulled Angel back down to her side. Humming softly the same lullaby he had mentally sent to her before. Turn about is fair play. Until an exhausted vampire finally fell asleep in her arms, and he did have good dreams.