Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters here in. They belong to BVTS and it's creators Joss and WB. Don't hurt me for borrowing them. They needed to come out and play....
(thoughts in Italics)

Pine valley: Angel's

Willow shook her head and began to hum low in her throat. As she twisted to stare at the porcelain basin, the tiny redhead reached over and turned on the hot water. Almost too hot...the way she liked it. Willow walked back into the bedroom. Angel still sat on the bed watching her uncertainly. The young woman walked over to the bedside table and picked up a small plastic bottle. Rose water, Angel realized as the hacker walked easily back into the bathroom before returning for something else that she needed. Willow picked up the packet of sea salts and then looked at Angel who was watching her. The fae witch smiled softly at him and leaning over to catch his hand in her own, she gave it a reassuring squeeze before once more disappearing into the other room.

The vampire stared after her, confusion clear on his handsome face. Angel stood and walked into the bathroom after the petite hacker. The young woman looked up from her task and offered him another wavering smile, continuing about her work. Angel watched as she poured what looked like the bottle of rose water into the bath. The sweet fragrant scent of roses assailed his senses, carried on the steam that wafted toward the open door.

"Willow?" Angel whispered, moving to stand closer to her. She stared up at him, arms at her sides. The fae woman tilted her head to one side, as though contemplating something; she reached up and began to run her fingers along his neck, brushing over the vampire's jugular.

"I have to cleanse my aura and that's going to take a bit of work." Angel stared at her shocked.

"What?" He demanded, his dark eyes penetrating in their intensity as she took in the shocked look on his face and laughed.

"I have to cleanse my aura. It will remove the last bit of that...that thing from me." He nodded his head in understanding. She stepped out of the bathroom again and started to rummage through the suitcase. Angel followed her out into the other room, and he found himself wondering what she was going to really do. How she was going to go about cleansing her aura?

Willow hadn't said anything else to him, and he watched her for a moment before he began to understand what she would have to do. It made sense. She would run the purifying salts over her skin, thereby cleansing her aura. The vampire smiled wolfishly at her turned back.

Angel followed her into the bathroom, and the tiny witch jumped slightly when she felt his fingers settle on her shoulders.

"Angel?" Willow questioned, her voice quaking slightly. "Shh," the vampire whispered against the nape of her neck. "I'm just going to help you with the cleansing," Angel said as he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the side of her neck.

"Angel?" the young redhead gasped, and she felt him smile against her neck. "You're bad," she scolded, even as her body gave an unconsciously aroused shudder. Willow stared in shock as Angel's hands slid down and began to unbutton her shirt; he pulled it gently off her shoulders and allowed it to flutter to the floor. The young woman watched mesmerized as his fingers glided lightly over her pale flesh, stopping at the hook of her bra and unfastening it easily. The redhead held her breath as he gently pulled the material from her flesh. She immediately attempted to cover herself...suddenly nervous of him seeing her nakedness.

"No," he admonished gently, turning her to face him. He placed his hands over her own, his eyes locking with hers as he carefully tugged her hands away from where they covered her body. He leaned down and gently captured her lips in a tender kiss. She protested weakly before opening them to his gentle nudging and welcoming his tongue into her mouth.

His fingers danced lightly over her bared shoulders and back. He held himself in check, refraining from giving into the desire to touch her more intimately. Their tongues played lightly against each other as she felt his hands trace down to the ties of her skirt. She felt him slowly draw away so that she was once more looking into his eyes.

"Come on. Let's get you ready for this bath," Angel stated as Willow's hands caught his, the uncertainty showing in her gaze. "Willow, let me?" he asked as she looked down at their hands on that small knot.

"Angel, I..." The vampire smiled kindly at her, understanding her uncertainty. Angel pulled her suddenly into his arms, his mouth finding hers. While he occupied her mouth, his hands made short work of the skirt and pulled the wisp of silk that served as her undergarment off easily. He felt her stiffen and gasp. Angel smiled against her mouth. The vampire lifted his beloved into his arms, and he began to gently settle her into the hot water.

"Too hot?" Angel questioned softly when he raised his lips from hers.

"No," Willow managed in a voice strained by desire. Angel raised his hands and settled them on her shoulders once more. Gently, he turned her form so that her back was to him, and he leaned forward, his shirt briefly touching her back, in order to reach the salts that she had put at the far end of the tub.

"Angel, you don't..." the witch started, the innocent part of her not sure she could handle the feel of his hands moving all over her body. She had to cleanse everywhere. The other part of her, the woman that found the intoxicating strength of the energy they shared when ever they touched so arousing, wanted his hands on her...wanted more than that, and it frightened her.

"Shh. I want to," he said as his hands slowly started to rub the salts gently into her warm flesh. Giving in to the realization that she very much wanted this attention, Willow leaned back into his gentle ministrations, letting her mind drift.

She allowed herself to think on what was between them. She thought ruefully...that's what Angel had said to Galan. Even if Angel didn't know it yet, it was true; she was his, heart, mind, body, and soul. His, and with that knowledge came the understanding that it had always been so.

Willow felt the salted cloth in his hand pause at the top of her breast and realized that the vampire wasn't certain if she wanted him to continue. She pressed into his hands forcing them to slide lower across the flesh he'd hesitated in touching. The innocent gasped as those fingers slid forward suddenly to lightly draw on her nipple. She was too caught up in the sensations he was creating to really think about the fact that this wasn't part of the cleansing.

Angel's hand slid lower across her stomach, adjusted her position slightly so that she was half-lying on her side in the huge tub, so that his hands glided caressingly over her back and buttocks. Willow's eyes were clenched shut and she trembled slightly as those hands skimmed down her legs. Turning her yet again, those gliding hands slid back up. Her eyes fluttered open and she was surprised to find him kneeling, on the outside of the tub, without his shirt. The vampire drew away from her, standing after a moment.

"What are you doing?" Willow demanded breathlessly, even as her eyes followed his movements with avid hunger. The young virgin was shocked by the heat that was gathering in her abdomen as she watched him undress slowly, until he stood before her in nothing but those sexy boxers that he wore. Willow felt her cheeks flush as her mind made an observation about Angel's state of arousal.

The vampire smiled warmly at her, making her stomach do that strange flip-flop thing that it seemed to reserve only for him. He left the room for a moment, and Willow wondered what he was up to. Her eyes drifted closed at the sound of his mental command to relax and the reiteration of the promise not to do anything she wouldn't like. She allowed her mind to drift once more, this time to the kiss they had shared the other night. She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling for a moment before allowing them to flutter closed again.

Willow gasped when she heard the splashing of water and the sudden feel of strong, hair-roughened legs sliding against her own. Her eyes flew open and locked with Angel's. He smiled sensuously at her, making her blush furiously, and then she realized that he had somehow grabbed one of her feet.

Angel lifted her dripping flesh to his lips brushing a light kiss to the inside of her ankle. Willow's body arched in an aroused spasm as the bolt of desire shot from where his lips connected with her skin to her most intimate places. <YIKES! zones?! erogenous were feet, who knew?>

"Angel!?!?" The vampire smiled ferrule at the little gasping sound that followed his name. Reaching forward he grasped her under her arms and pulled her seemingly weightless body towards him. Holding her away from his body for a moment, he gazed into her eyes as her hands drifted to his shoulders. Her head tilted to the side as she studied Angel. Willow saw that his eyes had taken on the coppery glow of a vampire, while Angel saw the desire he had roused simmer in those green orbs. With an internal prayer to the Gods for patience and control, he turned her around gently and settled her against his chest. He waited for her to realize that he was as naked as she was. Her hands settled on his upper thighs and with that simple touch had came the understanding that he was naked. She pressed back against him, and sputtered some incoherent protest before his fingers moved to continue the cleansing.

PineValley: Angel's:

"Angel, what on earth...?" Her voice trailed off as one hand held her immobile against his long, lean frame, while the fingers of his other hand skimmed below her waist and tangled gently into her pubic hair. Willow gasped, jerking back shocked from the intimate touch, only to come into even more intimate contact with Angel's erection.

"I didn't...I mean I never..." Willow trailed off.

Angel's mouth clamped lightly on the nape of her neck and he breathed the words, "Isn't it? Isn't this what you crave?" he demanded as his fingers slide lower.

Willow's breath caught as he stroked his fingers lower over the outer lips of her sex. Angel rubbed along the length of her femininity, in slow measured pace, drawing it out till she was panting between parted lips. Damn it, Angel. This isn't what I was asking for. Lifting his other hand to cup her breast he gently began to tease the taut peaks.

She arched shamelessly against his encroaching fingers welcoming the invasion as he flicked gently against her clit making her gasp and cry out loudly.

"More?" He asked against her neck. The vampire wanted to turn her around, wanted to do far more then just lightly touch, but not without her permission. She arched her hips forcefully against his hand; Angel smiled against her neck, nipping her gently before pressing a single finger into her heated depths. He began thrusting his finger in and out of her at a steady pace, brushing his thumb against her clit every so often. He added a second finger and felt her tight depths begin to caress him with eddies of pleasure, and her body began to tremble with the beginnings of release. Her hands dug into his flesh as he pushed her steadily over the edge. As the pleasure exploded within her, she cried out his name causing the vampire to smile with predatory satisfaction as he held her trembling body. He nuzzled his face into her neck loving the scent of her there...the scent that was pure Willow.

The redhead lay bonelessly against him for a long moment. Her eyes closed as the last eddies of pleasure exploded through her overly sensitized system. Well that certainly fixed the aura problem. Willow's mind was running in seemingly endless circles trying to avoid the simple knowledge that she was lying in a scalding bathtub pressed against an extremely aroused, naked vampire who had one of his hands resting on her breast and the other thrust deeply between her thighs.

She gasped as the hand between her thighs flexed slightly reminding her that two long fingers were still buried deep inside her. As though I would forget? The pale beauty squirmed slightly not sure what to think about the decidedly strange feeling of his fingers inside her. Sure, there was pleasure; a lot of it, but then right at that moment she couldn't think and truth be told she didn't want to think. She never wanted to think again.

"Willow," he whispered her name against the nape of her neck, suddenly unsure of her mood. He'd given her pleasure, even though it was under duress, he had not had her permission, and now he would have to hope she wasn't going to dust him for the trespass. The flushed young woman turned her head slightly, one of her hands moving from the place on his thigh where she had held onto him for dear life. She reached up and touched his face lightly. Part of her wanted to laugh at the uncertain look on his face. Unable to speak, Willow did the only thing she could think to tell him that she wasn't angry, just frazzled and singed...she kissed him, sweetly, lightly on the lips. His mouth opened to capture hers, his tongue snaking out to caress her.

As their lips touched pressing lightly then feathering away teasingly, Angel became aware of the humming energy that surrounded them. He'd always accepted it as something that came with her kiss; it was buzzing around them like a tangible living force. She opened her mouth to his tongue, the kiss rapidly escalating in passion. His hand slid from its warm nest between her thighs to help her settle against his lap. He positioned her so that she would straddle his legs, and he felt her heat pulsate against his arousal. He moved both hands upward to caress her breast. He caressed her with intent, his fingers teasing her nipples into taut readiness. He released her mouth and slowly kissed down her neck already anticipating the little cries she would make when his mouth touched her rosy nipples.

Her sharp gasp of pleasure in no way disappointed Angel. He suckled and caressed her breast lovingly, carefully arousing her passions again. She gasped his name huskily and the sound of her own passion-drenched voice must have triggered something deep within Willow, because Angel only had a single moment then he was no longer in control of this seduction. The wave of desire and lust came from the mists. He wasn't prepared for it, and only belatedly realized that it was her...that intense all-encompassing need to possess was Willow. Her wants, her hunger, her desire...he was linked to her again and all of her emotions were coming through the link and overwhelming him. That combined with the sensation of a very aroused Willow rocking against his painfully hard manhood was enough to have the 250-year-old vampire moaning in a tortured fashion.

Gasping in pleasure as hands began to roam over his body, Angel began silently counting in his mind. 1...2...3... Trying to distract himself from the sensations, she was evoking in him. 4...5...6... Her innocent rocking and exploring touches were more erotic than anything he or his demon-side had ever experienced in all of his 250 years. 7...8...9...10... Good...she felt so good in his arms. 11...12...13... He groaned as intense pleasure seeped through him. 14...15...16... She touched lightly and without certainty, but her intent to please was unmistakable. 17...oh god...18...oh please...19...sweet Brigit... Her hand slid lower along his torso, 20...Oh dear God please... gliding over his arousal. Angel gasped catching Willow's hand already well aware of how dangerously close to the edge he was. Their gazes locked yet again. Angel's was seeking, hungry, alive with the golden glow of the vampire that lived in him.

Wordlessly, he lifted them both suddenly from the tub. Water ran down her over sensitized skin, and her mind dutifully relayed the sensations her body experienced as her bare flesh touched his. Her eyes skimmed lower, over his torso, and down to his arousal. She gasped, her cheeks reddening when she realized she'd touched him, and she had wanted him. She slid her arms around him, making no attempt to extricate herself from his arms. He looked deeply into her eyes seeking permission for what he was about to do.

He carried her back to his bed, and her eyes widened slightly as she was urged to lie back against the silken comforter. The material stuck to her still wet skin, and he smiled roguishly down at her, his eyes willing her to stop him while she still could. Her logical side screamed that this was wrong, he didn't know all the facts, but the part of her that had wanted Angel, had always wanted him, saw no reason she couldn't lay claim to him, as he had her.

He leaned down and studied the rivulets of water that ran between her breasts before using his tongue to lap up the wetness. Willow gasped her muscles tightening and the place between her thighs suddenly pulsating with heat. She arched into his laving tongue, and could feel him smile against her flesh. Following more trickles of water Angel slowly made his way down over her stomach, and Willow was sure that not an inch of her skin had not been treated to the sweet, raspy feel of his tongue.

She expected him to stop when he reached the apex of her thighs, and she was trapped between delicious rapture and abject horror when his mouth clamped lightly down on her outer lips. Oh my god. Angel, What are you doing? She screeched and tried to pull away, but the coverlet clung to her still wet body and one of his arms came up to drape casually over her hips holding her in place to fully experience the exquisite torture he had planned. She felt him grin and then the shocking feel of his cool wet tongue thrusting out to dance lightly over her. She moaned incoherently, and Angel lifted a hand to gently part her outer folds.

She screamed softly as his tongue moved forward to gently run up her hot inner flesh. Angel? She arched uncertainly against him, her hips coming slightly off the mattress. Slipping a single finger once more inside her, he gently rotated it, stretching her depths, and causing tiny spasms to run the length of her body. He continued his tender ministrations, stroking until her hips rocked in perfect union with his thrusting tongue and fingers. She was gasping her pleasure loudly, her cries music to his ears. He continued until he had pushed her over the edge, drinking in the nectar of her pleasure greedily. She drenched him, and as he caressed her one last time flicking his tongue against her clit, she moaned his name. Looking up, trying to catch her bright green gaze, Angel lay between her legs afraid to move. Even now he could feel his painfully hard erection weeping clear fluid onto the comforter.

Her eyes fluttered open and she stared at him for a long, uncomprehending moment. "Tell me not to," he whispered mentally one last time, knowing full well that in the heat of passion her mind would not deny him.

Looking into his golden eyes, Willow lifted her hand to gracefully trace the bones of his partially vamped face. She sat up, the vampire lying between her legs, supporting herself on one arm, while the other continued to stroke his face and hair. A wicked plan came to Willow's mind; something she had read in Giles' books clicked with something she had read on the Internet, and she roughly grabbed Angel's dark locks and pulled his head back to look in those coppery eyes.

"I did not give you permission," her voice came through the link. "Lay on your back." The command was evident even through the link. Angel looked into those green eyes, the shock of what he saw there causing him to fully morph into his demonic visage.

When he still hadn't moved, Willow shoved him off of her with surprising strength. "I said on your back, vampire." Angel lay on his back in shock, with his game face still evident. The shock, however, had done nothing to change the fact that he still had a raging hard on that bounced when he was flipped onto his back by the little hacker.

Willow's eyes grew wide at the sight of his erection bobbing against his body, clear liquid leaking out onto his abdomen. Quickly she squelched the blush that started to rise, and looked up at the dark-haired vampire that was staring at her in gameface.

"Willow?!" came his voice through the link. It was full of trepidation and something more difficult to define.

"I won't hurt you, Angel. I just thought you might want to play," with that thought sent through the link, Willow spoke out loud, "You won't move unless I tell you to. You won't touch me in any way unless I give you permission." Then indicating his erection with a wave of her hand, she added, "and you won't use that or lose that unless I say. Understand?"

The expression on Angel's face was priceless. If Willow hadn't been so aroused and embarrassed at the same time, she would have laughed out loud. The vampire, in game face, was slack-jawed, the shock evident even with the demon's face in place. Smacking his thigh lightly she reiterated, "Is that understood?"

"Yes m-milady," Angel stuttered. His sluggish brain suddenly beginning to comprehend the thought Willow had sent to him earlier, 'I just thought you might want to play.' What? Where? How? Giles' books of course. Then a sudden and very embarrassing thought occurred to the vampire...just how much had been in those books about him personally? Willow looked down at him, and her curiosity helped guide the way as she began exploring him. Using her fingertips, she stroked up the inside of Angel's hair-covered thigh and watched in amazement as his manhood leapt in reaction. Avoiding touching his erection, she stroked her fingertips over his abdomen and up across his chest.

She used both hands to define the pectoral muscles of his chest. Her hands slid up to his shoulders barely touching the skin as she moved her hands into his hair. Willow leaned forward and kissed him carefully on the lips, and when Angel's mouth fell open, Willow took advantage. Me. I'm taking advantage! She thought to herself as she stroked her tongue into his waiting mouth...tasting his lips, stroking the smooth, sharp feel of his teeth, the rough wet texture of his tongue. When Angel seemed ready to intensify the kiss, Willow pulled away licking his nose teasingly.

Stroking her fingers lightly back along his neck and down his arms, she grasped his hands and lifted them above his head. Using a light touch, she moved back down his muscular arms, skimming across the tufts of hair in his armpits and back across his chest. As her fingers lightly traced over his flat male nipples, he growled.

His redheaded tormentor looked up at him and gave him a wicked smile as she stroked around his nipples with her fingertips and asked, "Did you like that Angelus?"

When he refused to answer, she explained. "If you don't tell me, I can't make you feel good again. Did you like it, Angelus?"

"Yes," he whispered. Gently, she stroked her fingertips across his now erect nipples, to which he responded with a long, low growl, and she followed with fingernails lightly across them making him hiss and arch his back into her hands.

"Did you like that Angelus?"

"Yes, milady," the vampire hissed, and she noticed that he had grabbed hold of the cast iron headboard of the bed, and was holding on for dear life.

"Do you want more Angelus?" she said softly as she kissed his chest.

The noise he made was somewhere between a groan and a growl. The feel of her long silky hair brushing against his bare skin was enough to make Angel nearly explode.

"Yes...please...more," Angel begged as he looked down at the young woman. With care not to draw blood, Willow drew her fingernails down from his shoulder to his thigh, carefully avoiding his raging hard on. Willow cautiously reached an exploratory finger out to the tip, wiping off some of the leaking secretions, and she quickly popped the finger into her mouth. Angel's hips jumped involuntarily at the gesture and the feelings it evoked.

"What's the matter, Angelus?" she said as she stroked a fingernail carefully over his erection. "Is it a little too much?"

"Yes, please. I need...I..." Angel hesitated not knowing how to tell her what he needed, but Willow knew. The young redhead was ashamed of herself for causing him so much distress. After all, he had only been trying to help her.

With that thought, Willow carefully placed her palm on Angel's abdomen, just above the base of Angel's manhood, and looking up into his eyes she whispered, "Enjoy...let go." Angel felt as though electricity surged through him, focused under Willow's hand and in his erection. His hips rocked and bucked as delicious feelings pulsed and continued to move through him. When the pulsing energy became focused under Willow's hand and in his arousal, he couldn't contain his cry any longer, and he screamed her name as the feelings continued to build, "Willow?!"

"I'm here, Angel. Did you like that?" she asked. "Do you want more?" she questioned. "God's, please!! Please, Willow!!!" came his pleading roar. The vampire's back was arched almost into a bow as he continued straining for his release.

"Show me, Angel...let go. Show me how much you like it." No sooner were the words out of Willow's mouth than Angel exploded with a guttural roar. The viscous fluid shot out onto his abdomen, his chest, and Willow's hand, as his body continued to spasm. Raising her fingers, Willow quickly licked them clean, lowered her head and kissed the vampire on the lips, letting him taste his essence on her. Soothingly, she ran her fingers through his hair. For Angel, the taste alone on those sweet lips was enough to arouse him again. Willow sighed, then suddenly jerked her head back from his. Looking around sharply, she leapt off the bed and ran into the bathroom, as Angel could only sit up in shock. What did I do?

Sunnydale:

She could tell that no one was there. She had avoided this place like the plague after Angel had changed...too many memories just like Angel had said. The bed had been made and the room smelled faintly of Willow's perfume. She smiled sadly knowing that Willow had been here to get the sword that the young witch had used in the ritual, but the room also smelled of Angel. Buffy walked into the bedroom; her mind bombarded with images and remembered feelings. She felt her heart break as she remembered waking alone, and Angel. Buffy began to tremble, and in attempt to gain control, she reminded herself she was here for a reason.

Buffy had thought that perhaps she could find out where Willow and Angel had gone. Xander seemed to know something, but he wasn't talking. He'd given Giles the title of a book, and Giles hadn't pulled his nose out of it yet. Buffy wondered what it was about...there was no title on the cover, no way to identify it.

Then there was the email message from 'silver lady', whomever she was, that Xander had decoded without even batting an eye. Since when does Xander know all this stuff? Why do I feel like I am missing something? She opened Angel's closet wondering how many sets of his colorless clothing would be gone. Buffy stared in shock; the closet had been ransacked, although not a single set of his black and white suits had been disturbed. What the hell was he after in here? She stared at a box on the floor. Its cover was knocked slightly askew and a box of what looked to be oil pastels was sitting open on the floor next to it.

Angel likes to draw, so did Angelus. Buffy shivered at the memory of finding her own 'portrait' on her pillow. She had always been his obsession. 'One thing hasn't changed, you're still all he thinks about.' Buffy gasped remembering Willow's words. She had thought the statement strange at the time, and that Willow had sounded slightly jealous. She'd wanted him even then, whispered the little voice in her head.

Buffy opened the box, her hands trembling slightly. Staring down at the sketch books, she was surprised that he hadn't taken them. Kneeling on the floor, she pulled the books from the box. There were a total of five books...the ones on the bottom clearly older, than the ones on the top. Curious and wondering what filled the sketch books, Buffy opened the cover on the last one. It was old and slightly yellowed with age.

Turning the pages with careful hands, she found herself looking at the face of a small child, a little girl. She didn't recognize the face, or the name, and she wondered fleetingly if this was a rendering of Angel's little sister. Buffy closed her eyes sadly feeling Angel's pain. She could see that he had cried over this drawing...small spots of blood, Angel's tears, marked the paper.

Buffy continued looking, impressed by the number and diversity of people that found there way into the sketchpad. The most incredible of all the creatures within the pages was a drawing of a large Grey wolf. She wondered if he'd seen this creature up close or not. She put down the first book and opened the second; it was dated on the inside cover, 1988-1993. The Slayer recognized the first drawing as the glen where Willow had brought him back from hell. Penned on the bottom of the page, in his writing, were the words: This place it draws me, calls to my soul and my heart. I am frightened. Me a vampire, over two hundred years old, afraid of something I've yet to see. Buffy stared at the words wondering what the frightening thing turned out to be.

She flipped through the pages and froze. Buffy stared at the much younger, but no less familiar, face of Willow. Angel had drawn Willow...Angel had known who she was. Willow's name was scrawled in his handwriting across the bottom of the drawing. She smiled slightly. Angel had drawn Willow as a child. That was almost 'hallmark card sweet'.

Then Buffy turned the next few pages and her smile turned to a frown. Willow was in nearly all of them, her face slightly older each time. Buffy dropped the drawing pad and scooped up the next one, but she only found more pictures of Willow. Willow sitting on the swing in the park, Willow standing talking to Xander, Willow dancing in the moonlight, Willow in her nightgown, Willow standing by her French doors staring out into the night. Obsessed much!?!?

The last and newest pad she was almost afraid to open. The front page was a sketch of Willow dressed in a costume, something from the renaissance, and a masked man, which reminded Buffy very much of Angel was penciled in, holding her, dancing with her. Had Angel actually talked to and seen Willow before the Slayer had ever come to Sunnydale?

I never asked him how long he had been here? Buffy remembered his words to her in the alley the first night they met. *Maybe I don't need a friend. I didn't say I was yours. * She continued flipping through it, and finally came across a few of herself, but nothing anywhere near as many or as painstakingly drawn as those of Willow. Buffy could only stare at the drawing as she realized the name of the artist had changed. Angelus was the one that drew her! Angel hadn't...only Angelus. She stared at the next page in shock.

Angelus!?!!? She was dumfounded at that drawing. Staring back at her was a drawing of Willow in nothing but her silk bathrobe, which was hanging loosely around her. The young hacker obviously hadn't even been aware of him, and he'd drawn Willow nearly nude. Buffy was overwhelmed. Even Angelus had wanted Willow! Angel's want had been less on the passionate side it appeared. Angel seemed just to want to watch and protect, but Angelus had watched and wanted to touch. Buffy couldn't explain it, but she was beginning to think that perhaps her entire relationship with Angel had been based on a lie. He'd conveniently left out the fact that he was in love with Willow or at least obsessed.

She tried to stop the pain that was ripping through her, but it was too late. Willow was Angel's real first love or obsession at least. What did that make me? The Slayer wasn't sure, and if she was honest with herself, she really didn't want to know. Buffy had fallen for Angel the first time she had seen him in that alley. She had thought at the time that the attraction had been mutual, and perhaps it was, but there had always been something that held him back. Buffy now realized that she had been a second choice for him, maybe a means of getting closer to Willow or a more receptive distraction from Willow's obvious innocence, perhaps a combination of those.

Even if he had fallen in love with her, or been happy with her, as he obviously had been for the curse to break, Willow was first. From the looks of these sketch pads, Angel had known, watched, loved, and obsessed over her before Buffy had ever even known anything about being the Slayer, vampires, Sunnydale, or the Hellmouth. Had he actually used her or was she just... available and convenient? No!!! His words that fateful night played back in her head, 'I love you...I tried not to....' He tried not to because he was already obsessed with Willow, but he *did* love you. He did make love to you, not her. At least not up until now. Now that they're gone together, who knows? He loved you; he made love to you. Or at least he did before you made him loose his soul...and tried to kill him...twice.... And sent him to hell...

As the tears ran down her face, she hugged the sketchbook to her chest, crawled up on Angel's bed, and cried.

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